pg; oneshot; romance, angst; 633w
did you know, sometimes what people say is what they have to say, not what they want to say?
fingers tighten in jaejoong's hair, and he feels the tiny little pinpricks of pain bubble to the surface. eyes watch him from a fair distance, the face passive, and the lower lip trembling just ever-so-slightly.
that might be true in most cases, but i'm saying what i need to say, so would you please listen to me?
a rejection comes, simple, emotionless, and jaejoong tries to breathe around the painful lump in his throat.
you want to know why? here's why. tell me; do you know how many promises you've broken?
jaejoong feels the glint of anger in his eyes, rather than seeing them. his lips seal shut, refusing to allow any potentially harmful words slip past them. changmin pushes himself off the floor and takes a step forward.
i have a whole metaphorical box – hell, a fucking suitcase – that i use to store all the broken up shards of promises you once promised me. there're so many of them in there i can't even count them all. i can't even remember them all. but there's one that'll always be seared in my memory.
changmin appears in front of him, unfamiliar and oh-so-familiar.
wanna know what it is?
jaejoong recoils from changmin's jab to his chest.
you promised me you'd be by my side until hell freezes over. and do you know when you broke that promise?
jaejoong watches intently as a tear falls onto the ridge of changmin's knuckles.
it wasn't even an hour after you made that promise that you broke it. wasn't even an hour. an hour, hyung. it took you less than one fucking hour to undo perhaps the most important promise you've ever made to me.
i had to –
the sting from the subsequent slap sends a shockwave through to jaejoong's core.
no, hyung. you didn't have to do anything. if you really want to go down that road, maybe you 'didn't have to' make that promise in the first place! hell, while we're at it, maybe we shouldn't even have met. how would you like that?
jaejoong manages to shake his head twice. changmin clenches his jaw and moves away.
the worst thing is, i still want you here. i still want to be held in your arms, still want you to tell me you love me over and over and over again.
changmin's voice is the weakest jaejoong's ever heard.
i'll do all that again, min, really--
changmin turns on him, hair tumbling into his eyes and splaying across his cheek. angry tears glimmer in his eyes.
how am i supposed to believe that you will?!
jaejoong feels his nails bite into his palms.
because at the core of everything, you're my reason for living.
a dense cloud of silence falls over the room, only broken when changmin stumbles backwards and falls over onto the couch. he doesn't even feel the tears tracking their way down his face.
a moment later and jaejoong has him cradled against his body, rocking him back and forth slowly.
i'm still here, i'm still holding you in my arms, and i'm still telling you that i love you, over and over and over again.
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